Not necessarily a GOOD first, but a first nonetheless. I was informed at work that my position was going away and that I would be offered a package deal and my last day was in a couple of weeks.
I've never lost a job before... I've only left them for another job. This is an all-new sensation. Since it just happened I am in a sort of swirly state, almost a free-falling sensation.
My immediate thoughts were that I am letting my wife and children down... but I know it was nothing I DID specifically, that my job was lost because I was at it so long and made a good amount of money doing it. I was reassured that my performance was exceptional over my 14+ years but that the budget was tight and cuts had to be made.
My second thought was "alright, better start looking for another job, right now!" But that too I am reigning in because I am in no state of mind to do that, besides I should wait for the job services my package will provide.
I immediately started praying and sent out a message to church deacons and elders and asked them to pray for me (and for another long-term employee also being let go). They also began offering condolences and some offered sound advice to step back and take a deep breath. Church family is good.
At this moment in time I am feeling a lot of things, including helpless, old... but in all of that I am also trying to focus on God and be sure that I stop and think and look at what is important and what is cruft in my life. Soon enough I will be diving into the job search... for now I think I will do what people are recommending, that is take a step back, relax (well, TRY to relax) and give my worries over to God. That is not as easy as one might expect... as a man I want to fix things, I want to fix them myself. Giving my worries to God feels a little like handing over my own duties to someone else, almost lazy. I know that is far from the truth, but it is an illustration of the struggle I will have with such a simple, Christian tenant!
I shall update again soon.
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